Stop Opting Out of Reality

I’m a big fan of opting out of things that don’t bring you joy:

• That company sending you 43 Black Friday promotional emails that you don’t recall signing up for: opt out.
• The obligatory family event where you feel stressed and unhappy: opt out.
• A weekly bitching session with an old friend who can’t seem to move beyond the past: opt out.

But there’s one area of this life we’re living where so many people encourage opting out which I think is making us stupid, unempathetic and ignorant.

Here’s how it sounds…

“You should just turn off the news! All that bad stuff is getting into your brains and cells and making you depressed. Anything important will filter through eventually. Stop listening to all that stuff you can’t change and focus on you!”

Ugh. Even typing that out makes me feel dirty.

First up, let’s be clear about how this usually shows up. Someone in a marketing hat has decided that you can’t focus on “that stuff” and still grow a business, invest in their program, etc. so the logical solution is to willfully ignore the rest of the world and just focus on yourself.

Outcome #1 of this Ignore the News approach is the selfish privilege it creates within you. Not only does this take an incredible amount of callousness, it sets up your life as being entirely focused on your own health, happiness and progress. Fuck everyone else, right?

Clearly the advocates of Ignore the News are not going to say that, but it’s a logical outcome.

There’s an underlying message here: you can’t do anything so why bother? And wow, that’s a dour outlook on reality.

I’m not saying that you must fix the political uprising in Iran and personally oversee the earthquake rebuilding efforts in Indonesia. You don’t need to stop the war in Ukraine or the droughts in the American Midwest.

However, I believe you need to be aware and informed of these world events.

Outcome #2 of Ignore the News is a lack of gratitude. I appreciate so much more what I do have (safety, democracy, rain, relative political stability) when I understand that others are fighting for what I take for granted.

A very close Outcome #3 of Ignore the News is a failure to understand the power and impact we do have. In some cases that power is awareness, because regimes rely on operating in the shadows. Other times our contribution is monetary, giving to those whose homes were destroyed in a hurricane or burned in a fire. Our impact can also be voting, at the ballot box or with our choices. We can choose pro-environment candidates who will protect our planet instead of destroying it in the name of corporate profits. We can opt not to buy from companies that engage in dangerous practices or pressure local entities not to engage in trade with dictators.

When you are aware of the structural impediments to equality, once you understand the damage we do to the environment which has knockdown effect, when you see how policies and choices impact others then you have a responsibility to do better.

And I have come to believe that most people who advocate ignoring the news are doing so in the guise of “spiritual healing” to cover up their unwillingness to be part of the solution.

While you don’t need to be glued to your tv 24/7 and take on the responsibility of solving every problem out there, the other end of the spectrum of know nothing and do nothing is also not acceptable.

A common refrain I hear is that EVERYTHING is too much and I can’t handle knowing all this bad news.

First, that can very much feel true but it’s still not a good reason to opt out of knowing what’s happening in the world.

Second, by doing this you’re also ignoring all the good news! There are always pockets of joy even in the most horrible circumstances. Following the war in Ukraine is hard but seeing their people speak to the media about their resolve and love of country is inspiring.

Third, this is a skill that you need to learn. Emotional regulation and adaptation energy are tools that allow you to experience the good and bad of life without losing your shit. I’ll put it this way: if you decided you couldn’t bear bad news at work about a lost contract or a deal that went bad then you’re not likely to be promoted to a position of authority to handle such circumstances.

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending everything is fine is a poor work strategy and an even worse life reality.

Here are just 5 simple examples about how being engaged in the news and world have helped me lately:

1. From a tweet I learned that one of the nation’s oil refineries was going off-line a few months ago which would impact gas prices. Knowing how volatile things have been I filled up my tank earlier than usual and avoided the two week gas price hike.
2. Following the trial and conviction of Elizabeth Holmes for her fraud in Theranos gave me insights on confidence vs cons and taking personal responsibility in a criminal proceeding.
3. Locally the food bank has had greater needs for donations as food prices are rising so my local party is collecting canned goods and cereal to give. My home is the drop off point and we’ll take the food in before and after the holidays.
4. In Kansas, where I live, the Governor passed a law to cut the food tax which goes into effect in January. This has me eating mostly from the pantry this month to clear out some food before it expires and means when I restock in Jan costs will be lower!
5. A news conference with the Prime Ministers of New Zealand and Finland exposed that some (in the media specifically) still wonder if women can lead countries. This spurs me on that we can do much more to highlight the success of women in leadership positions. A record 24% of US states will be governed by women in the new year and at the same time 4 women sit on the Supreme Court (just 44% but progress!).

I could give hundreds of examples but in the end it comes down to this: you can’t ignore reality because it’s not pretty and shiny, in favor of selfishly improving your own circumstances while others suffer AND, if you do, pretend that it’s a superior way of being in the world. It’s not.

My philosophy can be summed up as:

Stay informed. Give a damn. Help where you can. Make the world better for all of us.

By the way, I don’t even care if you get your news from YouTube or cable tv, newspapers, the internet, Twitter, or emails. How you stay informed is not the point.