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At the start of this year I began a new journal, thinking I would definitely fill it up by mid-year. Instead I’m maybe 40 pages in and wondering why I don’t make it a consistent habit.

I mean, I would love to look back on the clusterfuck of 2020 and read, in my own handwriting, what I was doing and thinking. There’s something a bit romantic about hand written stuff, tell me you wouldn’t rather have a personalized birthday card rather than an e-card.

But aside from the fact I haven’t had to hand write long form consistently since high school, and we’re not talking about how long ago that was, I think I’m just out of habit.

When I sit down to journal my mind immediately goes to all the things I am grateful that I accomplished (like today: laundry, grocery shopping, new license plate on the truck) and those things I have to write down so I don’t forget to do them (renew my passport, fold the laundry, give the dogs a bath).

So I get all my thoughts out on those things instead of my thoughts on life. How I feel, what’s frustrating me, what brings me joy, what I anticipate next in my life… you know, the good stuff.

It’s not that the mundane stuff is unimportant, but in a world where we have The Price is Right does anyone really need to know that it was $3 for a can of pineapple so I just bought pineapple juice instead?

As I work on my new house it’s always a balance between the major and the mundane. For example:

• I bought LED lightbulbs so I can actually see the rooms I’m renovating. Boring!
• I need to measure the first floor square footage so I can shop around for hardwood flooring. Boring!
• I’m testing paint colors for the exterior (which needs a lot of work). Major project.
• I’ve started to work on the landscape plan, cutting back some bushes and planning the fencing. Major project!

Each of those things I can write about, I just need to get out my pens and journal and do it!

Every box I open contains a surprise.

That book I can’t wait to re-read.

The clothes I put away for winter.

The family picture I haven’t laid eyes on in months.

As I have been emptying boxes, one at a time, and slowly finding new homes for all my “stuff” I think about how I am doing this very same process in my business at the moment.

I’m going through my email folders, Dropbox, Google Drive, external hard drives, chat conversations, notebooks, voice notes, email campaigns, teaching software, memos and ideas scrawled on paper from a dozen events and workshops.

I’m organizing it, discarding what’s no longer useful, planning around the rest. I’m settling it, piece by piece into a new digital home for systems which will be accessible later this year.

Even as I unpack into my new home, I have the idea that I may not live here forever. With my business, it’s different. I’m settling everything in, hoping it’ll live on here for many, many years.

Sometimes I watch organizing channels on YouTube or Instagram who come in an unpack a whole home in a weekend. I can’t do that in either my home or business. I’ll take out each item, consider where it goes and while it’ll take significantly more time, I’m happy with the tradeoff.

It’s no exaggeration to say that I’ve been decluttering stuff in my life for the last 5 years. Knowing that I wanted to move eventually, I’ve been culling things which are worn out, duplicates and no longer needed.

That said, I still packed 250 boxes for my move + a bunch of furniture and random items.

I’ve actually been keeping track during my unpacking process (1 week today since the POD arrived) because moving 20 or 50 boxes is easily trackable. Moving plant stands and bed frames and nightstands and fans and step stools and rugs is harder. And often more difficult to move, if the memory of me flip/dragging my desk up the porch stairs is any indication.

I’d always said that I would likely declutter again as I unpack and that’s proving to be true. When I’m hauling boxes, physically and mentally exhausted and ready for a shower and a beer, I am cursing my need to hang on to “stuff.”

But when I’m opening those same boxes, unearthing my books and flamingo plant holder and china and gumball machine, I love my “stuff.”

It’s interesting from a statistics standpoint to evaluate the physical weight of the things I own (thankfully the POD price was not impacted by weight, just distance), but I tend to think more about the emotional weight.

One thing I was careful about when packing was not to bring along too many unfinished projects. If something had been lingering on that mental to do list for years, hauling it 2,000 miles was not going to make it easier to finish.

So while I sweat from my shins and haul boxes and furniture and all my “stuff,” I consider if each item has a purpose or brings me joy. If not, it’s in an empty box headed for charity.

As soon as I find the closest charity shop…

I tend to oscillate between two ways of being, both of which I find valuable.

The first comes from my Type A planning nature which insists that I know what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. The second side of my nature requires me to live in the moment, feel into my body, and honor where I am, even if that means not having a plan.

This most recently came up when planning a road trip of over 4000 miles. The day before I left I was asked a simple question, “what time are you leaving in the morning?” I did not have an answer.

I could have said I will leave at 5 AM, but then if I slept poorly or decided to leave earlier or later, I would feel like I hadn’t kept my word. Instead I decided to say I would leave when I felt as if I had enough sleep. This frustrates some people in my life and even myself because I like to be somebody who can keep my word makes plans and follows through.

However, I have learned how important it is to honor myself.

This came up many times when I was driving throughout my house scouting trip and moving out to my new home. I could have spent hours researching hotels that allowed dogs, had great reviews and were on the route I’d chosen.

But in the midst of the moment, I might find myself pushing too hard to make it to the hotel I’d chosen. I might reach the hotel and decide I could drive another hour.

On one day I’d missed lunch, gotten badly sunburned and the dogs were overheating. While I’d planned on driving another 200 miles, I had no qualms pulling into a hotel and calling it a day. The headache I had was eased by the air conditioning and I woke up refreshed the next morning.

Of course, if I have a client commitment or have made an appointment than I am more likely to push through discomfort and keep my plan.

As I’ve become aware of this push and pull, I’m learning to live with not having a plan or making adjustments on the fly. It looks like checking in with how I feel, especially when I’m experiencing pain, considering the risks and rewards of changing a plan and trusting myself.

While the reading challenge I think I’d most succeed in is the one on RuPaul’s drag race… I’ve started a new personal challenge that’s sure to keep me busy.

As you may know, I’m an organization freak. I love a good spreadsheet and “completing” collections. So when I say I have over 1,000 books I know I have 1,167 in 32 boxes.

The last thing I want to do is unload all those boxes onto shelves and then, at some point in the future, repack slightly dustier volumes when I move next.

So I got the idea to read my books. Groundbreaking, I know. But I mean ALL my books from the Art of War to 2020’s newest release. I’m starting with the easiest ones, paperback books to young readers that I collected as a kid and once loved.

I am finding that some are as charming as I recall, even though they’re nearly 100 years old, and some have NOT aged well at all and are barely 40 years old.

While I work on this challenge I have a few guidelines:

1 – I’m unpacking books as I read them, which should give me plenty of time to source and install my office bookshelves.

B – The only new books I can buy are ones that complete a series. This should be somewhat affordable since most of my series are older, though there is one volume left that is $70-150 in a great series that I can’t bring myself to purchase.

3 – I’m tracking all of the books I finish on Goodreads where I have all of my books on a “to be read” list. This was mostly so I can look up books at stores and find out if I already own them or not but now I’m going to crush that 2020 reading goal.

Ever since I announced my intention to move out of California I’ve had the same question, “where are you going?” Which is, to be fair, an honest question.

At first the answer was easy, “I don’t know.”

My choices were endless but I needed to know my budget and find the right house. Out of the hundreds I watched and bookmarked and researched, I found The One in June and closed in July.

It’s in the Midwest. 

That’s all really most people need to know.

But I’ve been hounded, endlessly, by the curious about where EXACTLY it is. 

And I’ve chosen not to disclose the location. 

I have some reasons which won’t be shared here but let’s talk about the main one: privacy. 

You cannot unsay something. Once it is known and in the somewhat public domain there’s no going back. As a somewhat public figure I have to consider privacy with everything I do. 

Do I share when I’m on vacation?

Do I advertise speaking at a conference?

Do I mention I’ll be road tripping for a month?

One of the stories that changed my mind on how much to say came from this account. While I’m not a personal fan of this author, knowing what he experienced makes me think about my own safety. 

Another big reason I won’t be sharing my location is y’all don’t need to know! I do have a PO Box in a town on the way to “town” — if you live in the country you know what I mean — which I would share privately if necessary. 

But most of y’all will never be sending me mail or visiting (if you were invited, let’s be clear I may have a bigger house but it is not a hotel). I know this because many of my friends live internationally and scattered around the country. 

For those people who might live closer and want to visit, well, I lived 90 min away from the town I grew up in for 14 years. In all that time, 2 people from my hometown visited and one has since passed away. 

We like to scoff and whine about celebrities and people on social media sharing their whole lives from what they eat, wear, read, how they decorate, travel, and on and on. I’m doing the opposite so if you’ve only ever followed me for recipes 😂 or decorating pictures or to know what I do day in and day out, you’re going to be disappointed. 

And if your feelings are a bit hurt, I understand but what you to know this is not about you.

This is a personal boundary that I am willing to defendant it’s simply not important to know my location at this time. Still annoyed? Then take a moment to ask yourself why I should compromise my privacy and boundaries for your curiosity. I’m very interested in knowing the answer.